Tuesday, December 21, 2021

What is the worst Christmas song? - UPDATED

Photo from theguardian.com via Google

UPDATE 12/27/2021 8:38 am CST: I came across this belatedly: it turns out that my wife's view of All I Want for Christmas, while original to her, is not unique.  Unbeknownst to both of us, by the time she voiced per opinion about the song, Kyle Smith of National Review already had unintentionally initiated what turned into an international social media kerfuffle regarding the song.  Smith's post about the incident is amusing and worth a read, but in brief: he had visited a bar in Dallas and noticed this sign on the establishment's jukebox:

Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You will be skipped if played before Dec 1.  After Dec 1, the song is only allowed one time a night.

Smith snapped a photo of the handwritten sign and tweeted it out.  Somehow, through the magic of tweets being forwarded by other tweeters, Carey herself (or her publicists) became aware of it, and replied via Twitter.  I'm pasting an image of her reply here, as the photo is necessary to fully appreciate it:


I say "fully appreciate", but I may be missing the point of it.  I take it that it's tongue-in-cheek: I think she (or her publicists) photoshopped her head onto a Xena the Warrior Princess photo.  I am reading it as a good-humored response.

I am not what one would call a Mariah Carey fan-boy; frankly, her career blossomed after I had mostly lost interest in popular music, so I sort of missed out on her.  I did observe her during the one or two seasons she was a panelist on American Idol, and I kind of liked her: I thought she came across as sensible and well-grounded (or as sensible and well-grounded as a certified diva can be), and inclined to be kind to the teenage and young-adult contestants - which probably is why the show's producers didn't keep her around very long.  I think there was back-stage snippiness going on between her and the other panelists, but that seems to me more or less par for the course for that show, and those judges panels crammed together a lot of ego at one table, so I'm not going to assign fault one way or the other for that.

At any rate, after Carey or her publicists deigned to take notice of the tweet, media all over the world picked up the story.  But the incident, such as it was, never pinged on my radar until I read about it within the last few days.  I'm not one who tunes in DMZ frequently, or at all.

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A week or so ago, my wife announced that she can't stand the Mariah Carey insta-classic, "All I Want For Christmas (Is You)" (currently at 238 million views on YouTube, and apparently it has charted on Billboard every single year since its 1994 release).  I am happy to say that, while the song is impossible to avoid, it sort of flew under my radar for the last 27 years, except that it's sung by that tween girl in "Love Actually", a film I enjoy.  On the whole, it doesn't stir a strong reaction in me.

Then, a day or two ago, I heard Elvis sing Blue Christmas for about the trillionth time, and decided I hate it every bit as much as my wife hates All I want For Christmas.  I think it's those annoying "oo-ee-oo-ee-ooh"s that kill the yuletide joy for me.

But - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree and Feliz Navidad are two songs which would seem to be ripe for hatred (I've probably heard both of them even more than Blue Christmas), but whenever I hear them, I find myself singing along.  

Any other holiday song hating going on out there among the NewGathering crew?

40 comments:

  1. There are not too many Christmas songs I actively dislike, it's mostly the way they are sung. I'm thinking of the ones you hear on the supermarket Muzak track that someone is belting out at the top of their lungs and doing odd things with the timing. But having said that I am so over The Little Drummer Boy, and have never liked Go Tell It On the Mountain. And I am going to spend time in Purgatory for saying this, but I think Silent Night is boring to sing. That's why I like the version where it is juxtaposed with Night of Silence. The St. Olaf Choir does a good rendition.
    Then there are a few that are just weird and sad, like the Cherry Tree Carol. Or Mary Mild sung by the Kingston Trio. The mean kids won't play with little Jesus, so he builds them a bridge of the beams of the sun. And their mothers tell Mary to "call home your Child, ere ours all drowned be".

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    1. I'm just twisted enough to laugh at Jeff Foxworthy's Twelve Days of Christmas.

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    2. Commander Cody did a pretty hilarious send up of C&W Xmas bathos with "Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas" that was a favorite with my brother. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NY0mXmiHXRg

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  3. I'm trying to learn the alto harmony to "Lo How a Rose E're Blooming" (one of my all-time favorites) because a friend and I are supposed to sing it as a duet for a prelude before Mass on Christmas day. Maybe I should gargle some of the peppermint RumChatta that we won at the parish staff party to limber up the vocal cords.

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  4. I am partial to the Pogues's "Fairytale of New York" for the mix of yearning and dread that marked Christmas in my formative years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8

    I also like Tom Waits's "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis." It reminds me of the people Jesus Christ came to tell us that we need to recognize as our brothers and sisters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxVo5mjK4eg

    I cannot get through Mahalia Jackson's "Sweet Little Jesus Boy" without tearing up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgFWDgp9u9w

    For festive noise while I'm baking or something, I'll take smooth jazz Xmas songs on a loop.

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    1. Jean, for some reason that Youtube link didn't work for The Pogues, but this one worked for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv0hlbWpa1w

      That song is ... kind of hard to summarize :-) But it has 23 million plays on YouTube, but somehow I think it had given me a miss till now.

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    2. I could go on a big jag about why a lot of people *need* songs like this, but probably this happy crowd isn't the right audience for it. Suffice it to say that the beauty of Christ's birth sometimes has a hard time making it thru the memories of those whose family Christmases did not mesh with the sugarplum stories they hear. Hearing art made out of the dysfunction and ugliness is sometimes the first step toward exorcising it.

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  5. On the positive side, I love the Polish kalędy. And "Es ist ein Ros entsprungen", German version of what Katherine is learning. I like most carols. Secular stuff I can take or leave.

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    1. I think we will have our kaledy Mass (they spelled it "kolendy" in the bulletin) on Jan. 2. The other choir sings that; the ones who actually know some Polish. I just sing what someone spelled out phonetically on sheet music.
      The guy whose funeral we had last week was Polish. His family requested one of the Polish carols for his vigil service.

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    2. Yes. That's how it's pronounced Katherine. Glad to hear you have a taste of it.

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  6. I believe I can sing the bass part for Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming. My freshman year religion teacher, Brother Florian, had our homeroom learn it to perform at some high school function that parents were supposed to attend. Should I ever write My Most Unforgettable Character, Brother Florian is likely to be the subject. If the word histrionics had not existed, it would have been coined to describe him and his exploits. The night of the big show, he decided he was dissatisfied with the basses in the middle of the performance, so he growled at us and waved us off the stage. Telling the story now, it strikes me as a hurtful and bizarre thing for a teacher to do. Parents were not expecting the Vienna Boys Choir after all, and it is not as if anyone in the audience cared about his talent as a choirmaster. Having said that, I don't remember, but I doubt that my parents had showed up. They rarely did for parents' nights, and they didn't seem interested in our school lives as long as we (my brother, sisters, and I) were doing well (which was always). In any case, none of us freshman had really wanted to be there, and Brother Florian was so eccentric that I think no one was particularly taken aback or upset. Also, I had never understood the words to Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming, especially e’er blooming and It came, a flow’ret bright.

    My favorite story about Brother Florian dates to the year after I graduated from high school. Another brother (whom we called BC) from the community had become a good friend to me and my family. I was talking to him on the phone one day. He was in the cloister, which was attached to the school but largely terra incognita to everyone but the brothers. I heard in the background an incredible commotion, and I recognized the voice of Brother Florian, who was shouting and shrieking. I said to BC, "What is going on there?" And BC said, "Oh, some of the brothers are playing Monopoly."

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    1. Monks playing monopoly. That is positively cinematic!

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    2. "The night of the big show, he decided he was dissatisfied with the basses in the middle of the performance, so he growled at us and waved us off the stage. Telling the story now, it strikes me as a hurtful and bizarre thing for a teacher to do."

      No kidding!

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  7. I don't think I will ever grow tired of Feliz Navidad or anything by Jose Feliciano, but really the most unforgettable performance was by Eddie Murphy (as Buckwheat) on SNL.

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    1. Omg. Now that's all I'm gonna hear when that comes on in the grocery store

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  8. This is one my wife and I have liked for many years. It's kind of an antidote to Jean's Pogues song :-). It's called the Donkey Carol. Some nice flute and harp work. It's in 5/4 time, which I think is supposed to give the listener the feeling of bumping and jolting along on the donkey while with child (or so I can only imagine; my wife has scolded me more than once for mansplaining pregnancy in my last homily, but what can I say? - I was assigned the readings and had to say something!)

    Here is the Donkey Carol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C62GPesAOvU

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  9. That's a cute one, Jim! Reminds me a little of a story recording we had when I was a little kid, called "The Small One", about the donkey that carried Mary to Bethlehem. When the donkey walked, musical chimes sounded, in rhythm to his hoof steps. I was bummed when I found out donkeys didn't really make music when they walked!

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  10. Katherine, I do love Silent Night, and loved it even more when we started attending the Episcopal parish. Our Episcopal parish ( and a couple of other Episcopal churches we have gone too for the late Christmas Eve liturgy when not at home for Christmas ) has large candles on stands at the end of each row of pews. The church is old officially historic as the parish was the first in our county of Maryland. It is not the original church, which burned in the 19th century, but the current building is also very old. Each person is given a small candle when they come in. Late in the liturgy the lights are dimmed and the acolytes light the big candles and the small candles of the person at the end of the row, who lights the candle of the next person etc. Then we all sing Silent Night. It’s beautiful.

    At home I like to listen to traditional Christmas albums, with traditional arrangements mostly. But I have an old Amy Grant album that was my son’s about 25 years ago that I quite like too. At the opposite end of Christmas music styles, I also listen to Britten’s Ceremony of Carols which I was introduced to by my high school choir teacher ( who just had his 95th birthday. I spoke to him on the phone for his birthday. I had sent a card and he called me) me. He had us perform Wolcum Yole but also played the whole album. I still have mine and play my old record albums on our old turntable. :)

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    1. We did Ceremony of Carols too, when I was in high school. Then again in college. I loved it. That's nice that you are still in touch with your teacher.
      I have to play Handel's Messiah at Christmas. My earliest memory of that was when I was about five years old and went with my mom to rehearsal. She was singing a part in the community performance. I thought it was beautiful then too.
      That candlelight service at your Episcopal parish sounds lovely.

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    2. We also sang the Ceremony of Carols when I was in high school. I think the original arrangement was for all treble voice parts but we had an SATB arrangement. It was a lot of fun to sing.

      Katherine do you do the entire Messiah? You must be a good organist. I find those keyboard accompaniments challenging!

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    3. Jim, nooo! I am nowhere near that good of an organist. I meant I play my CD of the Messiah at home. I have sung in community performances of it; not solos, but alto harmony. The community performances are something they don't seem to do much anymore. Especially since Covid.

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    4. At one time there were sing-along Messiahs in the Chicago area during Christmas season (secular Christmas season / the church's Advent season - but that's okay because The Messiah has music for all the different seasons :-)). There was a sing-along in downtown Chicago for which it was difficult to get tickets, but I managed a couple of times. It was held in Orchestra Hall, which is where the Chicago Symphony Orchestra used to play, so hundreds and hundreds of people would take part. It featured a full orchestra (including a harpsichordist who was amazing with the trills and grace notes) and four professional soloists. It was conducted by one of the Chicago Symphony conductors (but not the headline main conductor, which was Sir Georg Solti in those those days). There also was an organist, whose assignment was to double the vocal parts. We in the audience were the chorus. In the lobby on the way into the theater, they would sell an inexpensive book with the vocal parts to anyone who didn't already have one.

      Those choral parts are very difficult for your average church choir member. Anyone who doesn't sight-read and/or doesn't already know the music would be completely lost. Even those who could sight-read were sort of at sea through most of it. But there was one piece, the Halleluiah Chorus, for which a critical mass of people already knew the music. It sounded glorious. At the end of the two+ hour exercise, they'd go back and let us sing the Halleluiah Chorus again, so we could exit the theater with our morale not completely shattered :-)

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    5. The performances in my hometown weren't come one, come all. You had to go to the rehearsals to be in it, and probably everyone participating at least could read music.
      However in another town where we lived, the parish choir attempted the Hallelujah chorus for midnight Mass. All I can say is, we gave it a valiant effort. The part at the end where you sing "forever and ever" several times, I think the congregation thought it was going to be forever and ever before the end.

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  11. I think I’m more traditional than several of you.. I like the really familiar Christmas music, not the more obscure to everyone except choir folk Christmas hymns and songs. I still like the Little Drummer Boy, and the Carol of the Bells etc, along with the others I mentioned and Oh Holy Night, Adeste Fidèles, joy to the World etc.

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    1. Anne, yes - I love those, too. Well, except the Little Drummer Boy :-).

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  12. This is not really to do with the subject of songs, but both my husband and I have noticed something unusual at church lately. There are some college kids home on break. A few of them kneel with their arms clasped behind their backs during Mass, and also receive Communion that way while kneeling on the floor. The kneeling on the floor I understand as a practice of personal piety, but I'm darned if I can discern a purpose for the arms behind the back thing. Does anyone know if this is some kind of new practice? Looks pretty uncomfortable to me.

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    1. Sounds like a gesture of defiance - want to make sure that nobody tries to place the host in their hands. Rad- trads?

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    2. I thought of that too, but they keep the posture during the whole Mass, when kneeling. Perhaps being uncomfortable is the point, as mortification. It does seem a little "performance piety" to me.

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    3. Wait until they get older with the aches and pains. They'll be doing mortification whether they want to or not. I never got the pain and discomfort for the sake of pain and discomfort. I understand it as a part of work and sacrifice but to just induce it as if God is pleased by pain is nutty. It's a shame someone is conning them into this. Another distortion of religion.

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    4. Stanley, LOL. True, if they wait a few years, the physical mortification will come to them, they won't have to seek it out. I never understood the logic of inflicting it on oneself, either

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    5. There are lots of ideas around scourging, hair shirts, cilises, "stress positions" during penitential seasons. Ex, it shows your willingness to suffer martyrdom for the faith, it demonstrates penance, and it is also seen as a way to join in Christ's sacrifice. I understand the idea, but I don't swing that way.

      The local parish now has a very conservative priest who is pulling in people from surrounding parishes. He wears a cassock and says the St Michael's prayer at the end of Mass. Many women are wearing veils again. More people are kneeling in strange positions as described above at communion.

      A lot of the original parishioners are not happy about these developments because the new people are very vocal and beginning to outnumber them.

      It's all a big distraction that I avoid with TV church, but I do feel sorry that it upsets Raber.

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    6. I think that is why Pope Francis put limitations on the so called Extraordinary Form Mass. Because instead of encouraging unity it was fostering division. I don't mind Latin and people can wear head scarves if they want. But when it becomes part of an agenda or ideology they lose me.

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    7. I don't think we're supposed to give anyone communion on the tongue in the Chicago Archdiocese - that definitely was the rule in 2020; don't think they've canceled it. If those college kids want communion in our parish, they're going to have to put their hand out.

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    8. Katherine, I definitely agree re: Pope Francis drawing some lines in the sand on Extraordinary-Form practices. Jean, so sorry to hear that is happening at your parish. I hope your bishop intervenes to talk some pastoral sense into your pastor.

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    9. The bishop reminds me of Captain "Starry" Vere in "Billy Budd." Not a lot of leadership there.

      I really don't care what they do at the local parish, and it's certainly not my job to fix it. My job is to try to support Raber in his faith and to keep him from getting worked up and having another heart attack.

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    10. Jean, thanks for expanding on the self-mortification. I like it even less now. Joining in Jesus' sacrifice seems like arrogance to me. Imitating Jesus in the way he lived will lead to suffering thanks to our fellow humans.

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    11. I don't see it as arrogance. But, like speaking in tongues, I don't see how it does anybody any good. How does wearing the cilise or scapular or whatever help us love God by loving our neighbors as ourselves?

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  13. My long-standing Christmas custom is to listen the Service of Nine Lessons and Carols live from King's College carried by most public radio stations at 10am Eastern time this morning.

    Canterbury Cathedral has a similar service of seven lessons and carols which it did last night at 7pm their time. Fortunately, it is on YouTube which means that you can not only hear it any time, you can also see it. In this case seeing is important since their various choirs spend considerable time processing between the nave of the church and the choir area. The whole service is very helpful in understanding the very different structure of many of these medieval churches and the importance of processions in their worship.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLcMkzkj154

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    1. Thanks for the link, Jack. It sounds like it would be lovely.

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