A malapropism walks into a bar....

For grammarians and literature buffs who need a smile today:

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.


    A dangling participle walks into a bar.  Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

    A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

    An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

    Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."

    Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

    An onomatopoeia screeches into a bar, sizzles, growls, and roars.

    A question mark walks into a bar?

    A non-sequitur walks into a bar.  In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

    Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar.  The bartender says, "Get out - we don't serve your type."

    A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

    A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

    Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar.  They sit. They converse.  They depart.

    A synonym strolls into a tavern.

    At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar - fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

    A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting.  With a cute little sentence fragment.

    Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

    A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

    An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

    The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

    A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

    The past, present, and future walked into a bar.  It was tense.

    A dyslexic walks into a bra.

    A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate.  The noun declines.

    An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

    A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

    A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

    A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar, and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

This arrived in my email courtesy of my brother via his old college roommater.