Happy Memorial Day, everyone. This morning, I engaged in what my wife, half tongue-in-cheek, refers to as my "side hustle", i.e. my way of making a little money on the side. I say tongue-in-cheek because I do nothing to promote it, and it's seldom that I do it, although it seems to have picked up a little bit in the last few months. My "hustle" is providing musical accompaniment at mass.*
In this morning's case, the mass took place at one of the local Catholic cemeteries, and of course the occasion was Memorial Day.
It's an annual mass to honor those who have given their all for our country. It draws two or three hundred attendees - some vets, some family members of those who have died, some who are just motivated to honor those who have fallen. The service takes place outside. The setting is lovely, and more often than not the weather cooperates - this morning, it was sunny and in the low 60s.I've played for this service a couple of times previously, but today for the first time, Cardinal Cupich presided. He's always been quite a good homilist. Today, he delivered a message that I consider courageous: he called for peacemaking. I don't have his text word-for-word, but the gist of it was: one of the best ways we can honor our loved ones who died for country is to work for peace, so that others aren't required to make that sacrifice in the future. It was on-point as a Christian message.
By way of contrast, at the parish masses the weekend before Memorial Day each year, the priest asks any veterans or active-service military members to stand. They are given a blessing, and everyone applauds. The priest typically offers a few words of thanks for their service. There is nothing wrong with this. All of us should be actively engaged in serving our community or our country in some way, and there is no more committed level of service than in the military. Service and sacrifice are intrinsic to Christianity, and they are intrinsic to the military.
So it's of interest to me that Cardinal Cupich chose not to take the conventional route this morning. He certainly didn't disparage anyone who served. But he leaned into peacemaking.
I don't know how the message was received. I suppose some people loved it, and some didn't, i.e. probably what is to be expected for genuinely Christian preaching. I'd imagine those who have lost a loved one to warfare are not eager to lose anyone else. But of course there are those in the world - including many Catholics - who will not welcome a peace-first approach.
I don't know how much longer we'll have Cardianl Cupich. If my math is correct, he is 76 years old. He has already submitted the de rigeur resignation to Rome. He sounded clear and strong as a presider this morning, but when I shook his hand after mass and was able to observe him up close, I thought he seemed a little older, smaller and frailer than I recalled from before (which isn't surprising!). Thinking about it here at my desk, I'm wondering if he is dealing with a health issue (whether transient or chronic).
He is a "Francis cardinal" and Francis has gone to heaven; whether the church is embarking on a new era is too early to say. I read or heard somewhere that he and Pope Leo are quite close, so presumably Leo is happy to have him in Chicago. But things don't last forever, and today's experience has me resolving to try to appreciate more this era of having Blase Cupich as our archbishop.
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* I get paid for playing at mass - I charge the archdiocesan scale. Here is my "side hustle" philosophy: playing church music is not my chosen profession. It's not even my chosen church ministry; when I became a deacon, being a deacon (which, btw, doesn't pay squat**) became my way of serving the church. But there are people in the world for whom playing piano or orgain is their primary or only way of earning money. In solidarity with them, I charge what they would or should charge; if I gave it away for free, there are pastors and other church officials who would absolutely take advantage of the freebies.
When I agree to play at mass for a stipend, am I "stealing the bench" from someone for whom playing at mass is their main source of income? It's not my intention. And as a practical matter, most music directors keep lists of possible substitutes; I'm surely not at the top of any of those lists, because I'm less available than other subs, as I'll explain in the next paragraph. Now, to be candid, I'm a stronger musician than some who have greater availability, and I'm a proponent of a certain base level of competence for church musicians. If you've ever eaten at a restaurant and said to yourself, "I can make this dish better than the version they're serving here", you know how I (and my wife, who also was a musician before a physical ailment sidelined her) feel when we sit through a mass where the musician isn't up to scratch. And I get a lot of satisfaction, and even spiritual joy, from making music for God and his church.
Prioritizing being a deacon diminishes my "side hustle" opportunities, because unless I instruct the scheduler otherwise, I am scheduled for at least two services as a deacon every single weekend.*** My side hustle opportunities usually come about because another parish is looking to hire me for the weekend to accompany all their masses because their music director is away. (If I didn't have a day job, I might get many other "side hustle" opportunities for funerals, something I'm bearing in mind as retirement draws closer.) Their ideal sub is available for all the weekend masses, and I never am. Sometimes they are willing to settle for me taking one or two of the weekend masses, but I'm not always willing to do so; doing two or three services on a weekend in my deacon capacity takes up a fair amount of energy and a good deal of time.
** What I said above about being a deacon not paying squat isn't entirely true. But unless we work for the church in some other role (e.g. as a parish manager or a school principal), we don't earn a salary for being a deacon. Visiting priests get paid a stipend for doing a Sunday mass (and of course the parish's assigned priests get paid a salary), but deacons don't get paid for assisting at a mass, nor for doing whatever other ministries we do around the parish. But we do get paid a stipend for presiding at certain functions: baptisms, weddings, funerals, even quinceaneras. These stipends aren't tremendously large - I get paid more for being a musician - and aren't that frequent. But there are deacons for whom these stipends are an important source of income, so our vicar for deacons urges us, out of solidarity with them, to insist on being paid the stipend. If we want to turn around and donate the stipend back to the church, that is fine, and there is a tax benefit. In my case, in these days of electronic payrolling I have my stipends go automatically into a bank account which my wife refers to as my "secret bank account". We've dipped into it a few times over the years for certain things, as when my aunt suddenly passed away and we had to buy last-minute airfare to get to her funeral.
*** I've also been singing with the church choir the last year or two. That's a time-consuming ministry (which also pays no stipend): you're on every single week, with at least an hour of rehearsal mid-week every single week. It's the most time-intensive, and the hardest-working, of the volunteer liturgical ministries. It's no wonder that most choir members tend to be retirement age.
Sounds like your parish has a similar policy with stipends as ours does. Where my husband sometimes ends up getting a stipend is for doing a funeral vigil service. There are two funeral homes in town. They have a standard fee for a vigil service, and one for the priest for the funeral Mass. It's a bundled charge, the family doesn't have to write a check, it's just an automatic thing.
ReplyDeleteOccasionally the choir I'm in gets asked to sing for a funeral. The directors get a fee, but they always split it even -steven among the members who showed up. Mostly the families want a guitar Mass, but I play some hymns on the organ if that's what they want. I usually donate my fee, if I get one, to Catholic Relief Services, since DOGE decided to short change them.
We also traditionally have a Mass in the cemetery on Memorial Day. Except it rained today and I think they moved it into St. Bonaventure's church.
Speaking of Cardinal Cupich, my sister used to teach at the same school that his brother did. The brother was a Latin teacher.
For some reason I rarely get called by our local funeral home for vigils. Not sure why, except that I'm not involved in bereavement ministry. Maybe I'm out of sight / out of mind.
DeleteIt's usually the priest who calls my husband to do a vigil service.
DeleteIt occurs to me that peace through strength is the basis for the world order constructed by the WWII victors (except the Soviet Union, I guess) and also embraced by the defeated axis. So maybe Cupich's words aren't that counter-cultural.
ReplyDeleteDonald Trump professes to be for peace and does seem to be working to broker peace - although I don't buy into his vision of the world order.
Is Trump actually working to broker peace? I don't get the idea that he really has any clear plan. He mostly talks like a crime boss about taking over Greenland. And Panama. And forcing Canada to be the 51st state. And threatening to invade Mexico because "the drug cartels". He wants to end the war in Gaza and Israel in order to do some kind of real estate wet dream with Gaza's Mediterranean coast.
DeleteRaber went into the Navy right after Vietnam and served in NATO exercises. There were exchanges with German and British ships. The German sailors had beer and sang lugubrious Marlene Dietrich songs. The British sailors hosted a Vicars and Tarts party. Then they all sailed past the Arctic Circle and had shore leave in Norway and learned to navigate fjords and show the USSR naval forces that they were capable of maneuvers at high latitudes. Nobody died. Which is the point of maintaining an able Defense Department and strong military alliances.
ReplyDeleteRemembering combat dead is important, of course. But it can have the effect of glorifying war and ignores the role the military plays in keeping peace. The US military since the Civil War has also been ahead of the rest of the country in providing advancement opportunities for Americans of all ethnicities.
Raber has come to feel ashamed of his military service, and I think it's largely because he is ashamed of U.S. military operations and policy since 9/11. We haven't gone to the community service at the VFW for several years now. I feel bad for him and hope he comes to see his service in a better light.
After WWII, fought only a couple of decades after the horror of WWI, the US and western allies took multiple steps to try to ensure a long- running peace. These included the Marshall Plan, the establishment of NATO, and increased humanitarian programs. Our food aid program (PL480) was called Food for Peace. It accomplished a domestic goal - buying up American agricultural surpluses, especially grain to establish a price support, and a soft power influence in the world’s poor countries. Foreign aid, international cultural exchanges, attracting foreign students to US universities are all part of the soft power initiatives meant to promote prolonged peace and keep them out of the sphere of influence of the USSR. All Western European countries and other rich nations pledged to give 2-3% of GDP in aid to poor countries. While many European countries achieved this level of giving, the US did not. Now our foreign aid is giving ( and selling) weapons to Israel, Saudi Arabia and many other countries. No more humanitarian aid except for food, which is still being done by a self- serving motive - keeping American farmers in business and ensuring that we have food in case of a future international war.
ReplyDeleteAs Jean, notes, the mission of the military to help keep the peace that so many died to achieve, seems to becoming something else entirely. Trumps and Hegseths war against DEI seems intended to turn back the clock on the relative equality that the military had achieved before other institutions.
Was it all an illusion? I feel that I was delusional most of my life, proud of what America had achieved - not perfect, but leading the world in fighting for equality and freedom, helping those countries and their citizens that were behind. .I am no longer proud to be American.
I’m sorry that Raber no longer feels proud of his service. He was serving for good reasons as were his contemporaries in the military. But I also understand why he feels conflicted now. I too have worried that we glorify war. Few who survived combat in any war feel that it was a glorious experience. My contemporaries who survived Viet Nam would never talk about it. My son’s Viet Namese parents-in-law will never talk about the war. Those who fought in Europe in WWII, my parents generation did not want to talk about it. Hollywood glamorizes it. We need to remember those who gave their lives for what used to be American values, but to grieve that we are so easily tossing those values overboard. Now it’s all about money.
Trump is not really trying to achieve peace. Trump is hell- bent on destroying the institutions like NATO and humanitarian programs that contributed so heavily to keeping the peace - especially in Europe - for longer than any other period of history. He wants the Nobel Peace Prize and will happily sell Ukraine and Gaza down the river to achieve a phony cease fire, a “ peace” that won’t last.
DeleteAnne, I don't think it was all an illusion. Different people are in charge now. The last people to have any memory of being alive in WWII, let alone fighting in it, have died or are very old. The lessons they learned are quickly being forgotten.
DeleteYou are right that people who survived being in combat usually don't want to talk about it. I remember the time my mom's cousin, who was with the "Sea Bees" in the Pacific during WWII, was visiting my parents and opened up about his experience. This was thirty years after the fact. Family members said that he had not previously breathed a word about it for all those years. One thing he said was that he had known without a shadow of doubt that he would not survive and would never see home again. But he did.
I hope Raber does come to see his service in a better light. My husband spent ten years in the National Guard. He was there initially because he had a very low draft lottery number and knew he had to pick a spot. I am so thankful he was never deployed. I think he is at peace that he did what he had to do at the time.
I wrote a series of articles for the local newspaper decades ago about a Vietnam vets group that was getting started. They were pretty graphic about things they'd seen and done. It was hard to listen to at times. Soldiers since that time seem far less likely to button up their experiences and get eaten up by them. I think that's better for the rest of us, too, to have to understand just how awful war makes people.
Delete"I am no longer proud to be American"
DeleteI'm not ready to go there yet. I agree with you that Trump and his MAGA movement are leading the country in some very dark and unacceptable directions. But I haven't concluded - yet - that the country as a whole is with him.
Trump himself is, in a sense, a symptom of the darkness. He didn't invent these new foreign policy directions, but he and his ruthless, scary team have harnessed a political movement to give these directions some momentum.
But they don't stand for all Americans. I continue to hope he doesn't stand for most Americans. The rest of us can still embody and promote a different, better, higher way of being Americans and being human. We can teach genuine American values to our children and grandchildren. We can promote candidates aligned with our values, and oppose candidates whom we deem contrary to what we stand for.
Trump's dithering and whipsawing on tariffs is a good illustration that he can't unilaterally lead the country in the wrong direction if the people are not with him.
DeleteJim - “Trump himself is, in a sense, a symptom of the darkness.”
DeleteExactly - and that’s why I am so depressed about America. He is what Americans voted for - twice. The cancer was already there. The darkness was there, but still hidden, until 2015 when he became their dream candidate . His trade war is absurd but that’s a normal policy difference. He seems to be slowly learning that he can’t handle global trade the same way he ran his businesses, by bullying and cheating and lying. But Americans like his cruelty, his vulgarity, his amorality ( he doesn’t care about right and wrong, only about his own power, money and ego). They loved that he didn’t use “ politically correct” language, but said out loud what they only thought. He’s made open racism acceptable again. He has Zero compassion for anyone, but really lacks empathy for the poor, for all minorities , but especially for immigrants and refugees of color. His voters admit that he lies through his teeth, but they don’t care - this is what they tell the pollsters. They love him for all the things that now make me ashamed of being American. They applaud the cruelty and vulgarity. They are glad that their tax money will not be going to help people in poor countries. Or to help the disadvantaged in our own country.
So far, the majority of the people ARE with him on most of it, but they are worried about the tariffs costing them money. They don’t worry about the cuts in social safety nets until it impacts them personally. They are beginning to pay attention to the economic reality that tariffs won’t eliminate their taxes but they will increase their cost of living. So they do worry a bit about themselves, but still cheer him him when he deports people, when he cuts off aid to the global poor, when he humiliates foreign leaders.
Jim, how long do you think that non- MAGA Americans will be able to freely vote for candidates that promote traditional, positive American values? He’s following the plan promoted for years by CPAC and the Heritage Foundation, outlined in Project 2025. The GOP has been working overtime on voter suppression for years to disenfranchise minorities who are usually DEM voters, to make sure that only MAGA candidates will be elected. We’ve seen it with ballot initiatives too - abortion for example - every state that put it to a vote after total bans were enacted in their states saw it reversed except for Florida. Most states that triggered abortion bans after Roe was overthrown are fighting tooth and nail to prevent more ballot initiatives, on abortion and on other policies. So the GOP is also trying to make ballot initiatives illegal. I’m not at all confident that we will have genuinely free elections in the future but only phony elections like those in Russia and Hungary. It seems the shock and awe campaign right out of the gate was planned to make sure the executive has all the power before future elections. He’s neutered the legislative branch government already, and is working to do the same with the Judicial branch. He has lapdogs at the Pentagon who will not hesitate to support him if he declares martial law at some point.
DeleteIt’s time for EVERYONE to take off the rose colored glasses because I fear it’s already too late to save the country for our children and grandchildren. Conservatives like David French saw what trump was very early on, but too few other conservatives did. They kept the blinders on and many still do.
I think the actual percent of MAGA American voters who are on board with all the stuff that Trump does and says is something like 30%. Which is depressing enough, but it's not the majority of Americans. The remainder of Republican voters are there because of several reasons. One is sheer tribalism and demonization of Democrats and "the Left". And there are some fiscal conservatives who believe that the deficit is the most important issue, and that the Democrats would drive the country off the debt cliff (I don't know how they classify what the Republicans are doing!). A big problem is misinformation and people who don't know how to sort out what's true and what isn't. Also politics and religion get mixed to a toxic degree. Which leaves the swing voters, who aren't very politically engaged, and don't really have strong convictions about who is best to lead the country. I think those are the people who need to be convinced.
DeleteOf course the Democratic voters were just a fraction under half.
38 percent of Americans did not bother to vote at all in 2024. My sense is that that group tends to be young, disengaged, and largely concerned with what happens between now and their next pay day. MAGA isn't reaching that 38 percent, but neither are mainstream Democrats. They may be more communitarian minded. The Boy is involved with a local group that started meeting as a result of the Lansing housing crisis and recent slumlord scandals. They are also loosely affiliated with a homeless assistance group and various free-store/recycling type groups. It has kind of morphed into a communitarian coalition that resists (and does not attract) involvement from businesses, churches, and the United Way.
DeleteJean, many classmates and others I knew fought in Viet Nam, and some died there. One of my Centering Prayer friends was there - exactly my age. Some of my classmates names are on the Viet Nam Wall Memorial n DC. My CP friend graduated from University of Michigan and was promptly drafted. Both my husband and I worked with Viet Nam vets. They never talked about the war either. My CP friend NEVER mentioned the war in the years we spent together in CP even though all of us became so close that we sometimes bared our souls to one another. He did share that he started meditation because of a few extreme anxiety experiences after coming home that plagued him for years. He also shared that he became a vet because he liked animals better than human beings. That may have been because of what he saw human beings do to other humans. Maybe because of what he did to survive - kill or be killed. He never said and we never asked. He is now somewhat crippled, I think from Agent Orange exposure,
DeleteIf that 38% voted for the Green Party, neither Trump nor Harris would be president and the country could be making real positive changes. I imagine there are many reasons for not voting but I suspect that Republican voters, Democratic voters and non-voters are all working within the same mental framework.
DeleteLots of Vietnam vets with weird blood cancers from Agent Orange and Napalm exposure in my cancer group. Both Napalm and Agent Orange are on the presumptive list for leukemias, but not MM, MPNs, or MDP. We write letters to the VA for them from time to time, but the military seems inclined to just run out the clock on them.
DeleteWith our support for genocide, I can no longer engage in public reverence for the flag. Yes, we take credit for defeating Hitler but the heavy lifting was already done by the Soviet Union. The first phase of the war was essentially a proxy war with Germany with the Soviets as our proxy. We WERE the main force against Japan. Otherwise, the “bad wars” didn’t start after 9/11. There were 200,000 Filipino freedom fighters killed by the Marines following our acquisition of their country from Spain. The numerous excursions into Mexico and Central America. We establish governments to make our lives better, but, in no time at all, they become aggressive, power hungry and Machiavellian. I don’t want to engage in moralistic, self-righteous finger wagging at the past. God knows, I’ve been a good servant of the Empire with a CSRS pension to prove it. But it is time to avoid war at all costs and seek peace and figure out how to bring our governments to heel. Also, the time has come to prove we are more than upright primates with advanced weaponry. Otherwise, we’ll go extinct as upright primates with advanced weaponry.
ReplyDeleteJim and other conservatives want to look to the past for "real" American values, whatever those are. I'm not against that--it was the aim of public education for 50 years--but I think you have to show young people how those values will solve current problems and help them build a future that they want to live in.
ReplyDeleteJean, good for your son and his friends. You can be proud.
DeleteAnd maybe try and convince them that it is necessary that the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of government should be independent and separate from one another, and that guard rails are there for a reason.
DeleteEven if they mainly care about life till the next paycheck, I don't get how they can be okay with the level of corruption, incompetence, and lying that we are seeing now.
Not speaking here of Jean's son and friends (who are to be commended), just in general of the disengaged non voters.
Delete"I don't get how they can be okay with the level of corruption, incompetence, and lying that we are seeing now."
DeleteAll's I can figure is they think that's how it has always been. And they see enough corporate greed and lies wherever they're working to assume that all hierarchies are essentially corrupt.
My experiences as a member of a mostly unpaid pastoral staff in the 1980s were very positive. We came from very diverse professional and life experiences. I was hoping this would be the future of parish life when I retired. I am very disappointed that has not happened. My parish has had little interest in my many talents. They simply want me to show up and applaud their performances. So, I don't contribute any money to the general parish fund although I give very generously to the food bank and SVDP society which are mostly volunteer efforts.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, we now have a lot of paid pastoral staff members in our parishes. Often, they started as volunteers but then went through diocesan training programs and have become paid staff. They bring far less diversity of professional and life experiences.
If we someday get a married priesthood, I hope that it will be a voluntary presbyterate in later life like our present deaconate.
I do think that there are some positions in the parish that need to be paid, especially in the music area: namely accompanists and music directors. I think cantors should also be paid if they are music leaders of the worship service instead of music directors, e.g. if the choir leads the people rather than doing SATB pieces. Obviously, choir members should not be paid.
I don’t think priests, deacons and music ministers should be doing multiple Masses a day. I can see doing a Mass on the Vigil and then another on Sunday. Our musical director does Mass on Saturday then three of Sunday. I think the music director could do the Saturday Mass and the Sunday SATB mass but should let the other two masses be led by cantors who would be paid. Betty used to do that when the diocese mandated cantors being paid. She often went to NPM conventions and developed a lot of musical and liturgical skills. I think we need all that in our parishes and dioceses.
Our parishes are mostly business operations rather than communities. Members become consumers, deciding whether or not they like what is being produced by the staff rather than becoming active participants in shaping the life of the parish.
Jack, I like your vision. One reality in our parish is that 30 or 40 years ago, it was much easier to find volunteers than it is now. People don't step up to volunteer like they used to.
DeleteMost volunteers 40 years ago were women. Now most of them are in the workforce.
DeleteI don't have a problem with some parish staff positions being paid. Of course if there is a school the staff has to be paid. Same thing with the director of religious education (who is in charge of the catechesis program for the kids who don't attend the school) and custodians and bookkeepers and the secretary. All these people do jobs that free the priests up for ministry. Because they are spread pretty thin. Yes most priests do several Masses on weekends. And lots of functions during the week. That's just how it is, I don't think most parishioners think of themselves as consumers. They are usually pretty good about stepping up to volunteer if they know there is a need. If the parish is a business it's one that is lucky if it breaks even.
DeleteInteresting story in the Guardian about "hypernormalization." I don't normally like these pop psych tags, but this one captures a mindset that maybe others feel--the way normality feels weird during a time of social upheaval. https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/ng-interactive/2025/may/22/hypernormalization-dysfunction-status-quo
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure that we have moved into the kind of breakdown in American society that Russian experienced under Yeltsin, but it's not for want of Trump's trying.
Hoping that the Court of International Trade's kibosh on tariffs, departure of Musk, Trump's disenchantment with Putin, and criticism of the budget bill in the Senate might pull things back from the cliff edge.
Agree - these offer a faint glimmer of hope. Very faint, but we can pray as well as hope.
DeleteSome of Trump's hold over other GOPs has been the ability to command gazillionaires to fund primary opponents. But the rich bros aren't getting expected payouts and perks from playing along. Musk's biz has tanked, Bezos is looking at crushing tariffs on the Chinese goods he sells on Amazon, and Zuckerberg has been keeping a low profile. Trump has been able to raise up a few hundred million on his own, but not the megabucks the tech bros have. Have to keep up the pressure on congressional reps, especially as I'll effects of govt services cuts become more apparent.
DeleteOur local SS office is just gone. It's an oral surgery suite now. And you are prompted to leave a number for a call back if you phone. And nobody phones back.
The Fed Air Quality Index site isn't working. Says our air is dandy, but I can see the haze, taste the smoke, and the Michigan Dept of Environmental Quality has advisories out.