I bow to nobody in my appreciation of a good pun; in my view, as a form of humor it is exceeded only by slapstick, preferably of the Three Stooges variety. That said: isn't there a rule, written or not, that a pun in a headline signals a light-hearted puff piece? This is an actual news story (VA wants to build a veterans cemetery in a local suburb; locals fear additional traffic and noise from gun salutes).
Subplots...kind of appropriate to be thinking about cemeteries in the month of the Holy Souls. We are in the process of making a will (I know, bad and irresponsible to have put it off until now!)
ReplyDeleteWe've also been saying for several years that we need to buy a cemetery plot. But we haven't done it yet. Mortality sucks. There's been some discussion as to where the plot should be. My husband suggested it should be here. I said, "Why? We have zero family here." I suggested our hometown, because that's where his parents and my family members are. Besides plots are less expensive there. He said, "Okay, fine." And now I feel guilty. Because maybe he really wants it to be here. It shouldn't matter to me. But it does.
"...his parents and my family members..." Speaking there of deceased people who are buried in that cemetery.
DeleteMy mother and dad decided (well, my mother informed my dad) that they would be buried in her hometown plot next to her parents 120 miles away from us. It makes visiting their graves a major expedition. Might be a good idea to discuss with your kids if you think they will want to visit.
DeleteNot sure about my arrangements yet, but I'm certainly not going to have my ashes being picked up by a street sweeper in Disneyland.
DeleteOne of my relatives keeps her son's and parents' ashes on a shelf in the closet to make sure they will all be buried together when she dies. Her daughter is a Presbyterian minister and has gently remonstrated with her to get them planted. There are two more plots in the family cemetery, which could be used for four sets of "cremains," but that leaves my uncle's wife to figure out where to put him, as she wants to be buried with her first husband.
DeleteSo I'm staying out of that deal.
My hometown is Los Angeles. My husband's is Washington DC. His parents ashes were buried in the "memorial garden" of his parents' UCC church. Not buried in an urn,though. The ashes were, hmmm, mingled, with the dirt, poured into a hole that had been dug in the garden and covered after. My oldest son, then 13 years old, hated it and made us promise we would never do something like that.
DeleteMy mother was born in LA in 1910. My parents divorced. Her mother is in a mausoleum in a Catholic cemetery in LA because she didn't want to be underground and didn't like to imagine worms and worse joining her in her casket. I'm not sure where my maternal grandfather is buried - probably the same cemetery, but below ground. Only my maternal grandmother was still alive when I was born, and I do remember her funeral. I thought it was so strange to have these oversized "chests" of drawers for the caskets, above ground.
My mother wanted to be buried in the church cemetery in Corning NY where her paternal-side Irish immigrant grandparents had been married - and buried. She had spent many summers on her grandparents' farm there, traveling with her mother and siblings via train, round trip, from Los Angeles to New York. She loved the small town where the farm was, outside of Corning. There is a family plot for her father's family there, she called and found out there was room for another, and made the arrangements. She prepaid her funeral expenses with a funeral home near her home in California, picked out her own casket, and paid for everything - the casket to go to her parish for a funeral mass, then transportation of her casket to the airport and then to New York state. She died suddenly - had seemed in excellent health a few days before a brain aneurysm hit. We were shocked that she had arranged everything in advance and even paid for it. No decisions for us other than to arrange a luncheon after her funeral mass. She was buried in NY about a week after that luncheon in LA. Only her children and grandchildren were at her burial in Corning. My father is buried in a Catholic cemetery in LA also, with some of his relatives - a different cemetery than where my mother's mother and father were laid to rest. My brother died six months after my mother following a freak accident. He was 47 and divorced. He is buried in yet another cemetery in Los Angeles.
There are no graves for my husband's parents so he doesn't "visit" them. I have never visited any of my family's graves, including my mother's in western NY state.
If I am living where I do now when my days here are ended, or within reasonable distance, I will instruct my family that I want a "green burial" on the grounds of a Trappist monastery about an hour from here in Virginia. I do not want a death notice or obituary in the paper, no service except at the graveside,no large gathering - just very close family and friends - I am making a list. I will select prayers and other readings, and simple music. They can then gather somewhere of their choosing, have a nice meal, and tell jokes about "remember when mom.....". If it looks like we will be in this area forever (instead of moving closer to sons on the west coast), I will buy two plots at the monastery so my husband and I can enjoy the quiet and the views there together, forever. Otherwise I will instruct my family to find a green burial space somewhere near them, if I happen to be living near them when my time comes. Two green spaces, for my husband and I.
I agree with Jean that talking with your children about this in advance is a good idea.
It sounds weird to say it, but I have happy memories of the cemetery back home. I remember riding in the back seat of my grandma's car with buckets of peonies and irises. We would arrange them on the family graves on Memorial Day, sonetimes in mason jars. She would tell stories of the people who were buried there. Sometimes we kids would go up in the pasture and gather wildflowers to take. Grandma had a Pink Radiance rosebush. It was an early bloomer, and sometimes there were buds for Memorial Day. They would go to the babies' graves; Grandma's little Mary and my brother John who only lived a few days. It was too bad they didn't have a NICU back then.
DeleteThe headstones were interesting, depending on the era they came from. I have one set of great-great grandparents there whose inscriptions are barely visible for lichen or moss.
Katherine, ditto! We would fix the graves for Memorial Day and then have a big family picnic. The old part of the cemetery has lots of iris, peonies and lilac bushes that have been growing for decades.
DeleteHere the old cemetery is filled up and the new cemetery has a lot of rules, like the headstones have to be flat with the ground so they can mow over them. You can't plant anything. Just seems like the older cemeteries have more character and are more places of remembrance.
DeleteHeadline writing is essential, but it can become boring. During the Reagan administration, at the old Miami News Betsy Willeford and I, between us, managed to use all but one line of W. B. Yeats's "Second Coming" as headlines on columnists. No one complained. No one noticed.
ReplyDeleteMy best head at the National Catholic Reporter was over the story that Cardinal Richard Cushing had decided that every school and church that needed to be built in the Boston archdiocese had been built and that he would be cutting no more ribbons. I wrote:
Cushing
throws in
the trowel
Bob Olmstead topped that, though. A religious sister was at the University of Detroit (if I recall correctly) getting an M.A. in theatre arts. She was cast as the lead in a musical. A Vatican dicastery, which presumably had no problem with capa magnas, got wind of it and decreed Sister would not cavort upon the wicked stage in a (gasp!) costume. It fired rockets to the archdiocese and her order demanding she cease and desist. Which led Olmstead to:
It's Curtains for Sister Bernadette
Good ones, Tom!
DeleteYeah, it's a weird headline for a straight news story. But sometimes it's real hard to resist the urge when you get some kind of mordant inspiration.
ReplyDelete