This is apropos of nothing in particular: my wife's name is Therese. That's a two-syllable name. But I've noticed, for the last 20 or so years, people stumble over it. Many people we encounter socially, including people who have known her for years, address her or refer to her as "Theresa".
It irritates her (and I don't think she's wrong about it) whenever she's addressed as "Theresa". I often correct people.
My explanation for this is, when she was born in the early-mid 1960s, French-y names were kind of trendy (I recall, besides Thereses as relatives and classmates, some Jacquelines and Maries). Nowadays, Spanish is much more prominent in American culture, whereas French names (and perhaps other manifestations of French culture and influence) have waned. So people's ears sort of default to "Theresa", or even, on occasion, "Teresa" (with the Spanish pronunciation of the e's).
Is it just us?
Could be worse. My cousin is a Theresa (pronounced TREE-zah here in Michigan). But everyone calls her Teri.
ReplyDeleteThere is one very long-time friend of hers (I think they go at least as far back together as middle school) who still calls her Teri, but it's not a name my wife prefers, and she discourages it from others.
DeleteI have sort of the opposite problem at work: my name in the corporate directory is listed as "James", (I've never been able to figure out how to change it to "Jim") and so most people address me as "James" because that's what they see in emails, Teams et al. Plus we are a very multi-cultural workplace - we employ people across many different countries, languages and cultures - and the niceties of diminutives like "Jim" are not always apparent to folks from other places.
Our oldest son is named James. When he was little we called him Jamie. Now everyone calls him Jim. But my parents always called him James.
DeleteI wouldn't think it would be an unusual name among Catholics, because of St. Therese of Lisieux. Does she pronounce it Terezz, or with the long "e"?
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother was named Theresa, everyone called her Tressie. She was named after her grandmother, who was French, and I think it was originally Therese
She does the long E. I'm sure "Terezz" is the proper French way, and she does have some French ancestry, but her family are good, solid South Side Chicago union people - not ones to put on faux ooh-la-la French airs. All she asks is to be called by her actual name.
DeleteCorrecting people directly is uncomfortable. However anytime someone pronounces her name incorrectly, you could try using her correct name three times within the next ten minutes. I think most people would get the idea.
ReplyDeleteAnother way of indirectly correcting would be to buy her clothing items with her correct name. I buy a lot of hoodies from Ink Pixi. I particularly like their Celtic cross. I can get my whole name printed across it. You could get one with either her first name or your full names and wear them as a team. It is meant to be Irish. Unfortunately, they now seem to be printing them only in greens and grays. I have them in brown, blue, and white .
https://www.inkpixi.com/items/celtic-cross/irish-green/adult-hooded-sweatshirt
If your wife wears jewelry, you can probably get various items with her name imprinted. It allows both of you to bring up the problem, and in that way to educated people.
I would probably have said teh-ray-seh. It’s ok to correct me. I try to call people as they wish to be called and don’t mind correction.
ReplyDeleteI once worked with a lady physicist named Theresa (pronounced ta-ree-sah, called Teri) who was raised Catholic. After the Frankford Arsenal shut down, she became a lawyer, came out as a lesbian, was always new age-y and changed her first name to Felicities. I was her assistant for a while in the holography lab. The toughest part of the job was her teaching me how to develop holographic plates in the dark. She was gorgeous. I was professional enough to actually learn how to develop holographic plates. Good for me. Sadly, I did a search of her full name once and found she had succumbed to cancer in her sixties.
Even though your friend was a bit new-agey, she had a patron saint in the Roman Canon, Felicity.
DeleteYou’re right, Katherine, I remember now. Good catch.
DeleteLOL, the old Irish priest who baptized me said that my first name, Melody, was not a saint's name, so I am written in the parish baptismal record as Katherine. Causes a little confusion the times I have had to produce proof of Baptism (to get married, and for my husband to enter deacon formation) until I clarify that Katherine is my middle name. They didn't need proof of my baptism for his deacon formation, what they actually wanted was proof of valid marriage.
ReplyDeleteI've never actually known anyone my age with my first name, but several people much younger. My sisters Kirsten and Elise also had names unusual for their generation. Same Irish priest shook his head over Kirsten, which actually is a saints name...in Denmark.
My dad's name was Gene, originally spelled Jean (named for a great-grandfather, Jean-Baptiste). The boys at school kidded him about having a girl's spelling, so he changed it to Gene.
DeleteIn France Jean would have been pronounced Zhahn.
Church ladies said "Jean" was a saint's name. They put St Jean Jugan in the litany for the Easter Vigil when I was received. The "Jean" comes from my Scottish heritage and I've always been a bit of a Francophobe. But St Jean Jugan turns out to be the patron of destitute old people and is certainly an admirable namesake! So I have added her to my list of friends in Heaven and hope she will help me fill out these forms for home repair assistance without going insane!
DeleteI had thought of Ste. Jeanne d'Arc as the patron of Jeans or Joans. But I am glad to find out about St. Jean Jugan.
DeleteDad' s patron was John the Baptist, because of the great-grandfather, and also because he was born the day after the Feast of John the Baptist
St. Jeanne Jugan founded the Little Sisters of the Poor, which must might be my very favorite religious order (sorry, Pope Francis and Jack, I have a lot of nice things to say about the Society of Jesus, but they can't top the Little Sisters). Although I had missed, or forgotten, that she has been canonized - I had in my head that she is Blessed Jeanne Jugan.
DeleteKatherine, re: "St. Melody": when I do baptisms, I always add on to the Litany of Saints, using the names of the infants, parents and godparents. Granted, most infants (and young parents) aren't named for saints these days. I admit it's unlikely there is a "St. Jaden" or "St. Colton" in the official canon. But I'm confident that we're all saints, so I add them on that basis.
DeleteIf this list is to be trusted, I fear your old Irish pastor was correct.
Deletehttps://www.catholic.org/saints/female.php?letter=M
My father in law's name was Clarence, which I thought was a perfectly good name, if a bit old fashioned. But not unusual for someone born in 1910. But he disliked it, and always went by a nickname. His headstone in the cemetery just has his initials, per his wishes.
DeleteJim, I have been called Melanie, Marilyn, and worst of all, Mildred and Milicent (even though all of those are probably saint names) As a child I would have preferred to go by Katherine (but never Kate or Kathy!) But as an adult I like my first name, even if people can't spell it right (never Melodee or Malady)
DeleteThe Little Sisters of the Poor went to court to fight requirements that employers provide birth control and abortion services. Fine by me, but guessing that cranked up their appeal with the conservatives and rad trads, who don't care that much about the poor or the elderly. The Sisters have withdrawn from several elder homes in recent years because the nun population is aging and dwindling, and some of the homes need upgrades that the order can't provide and the dioceses can't or won't pay for. Sadly, without the Sisters' oversight and religious care, these homes will become plain old warehouses for the old people whom nobody wants and staffed by poor people whom nobody wants to pay more than bare minimum.
Delete"Fine by me, but guessing that cranked up their appeal with the conservatives and rad trad"
DeleteProbably.
FWIW, one of their homes for the elderly (as they call it) is in the next suburb over from where I live. They speak at our parish from time to time to raise money. The whole parish loves them - probably in part because of the work they do, and probably in part because they sort of embody the American Catholic cultural idea of a religious sister - they wear habits, they are personally quite humble and pious, and so on.
Pretty sure that if I were a Mother Superior and I thought I could shake down a bunch of rich GenXers just by dressing the part of the 1950s American church they yearn for, I'd be happy to wear the habit!
DeleteFWIW, we're not poor, but we're not exactly rich. Not a lot of lawyers, doctors and investment bankers in our parish. Quite a few nurses and teachers.
DeleteI don't think there is a lot of yearning for the 1950s per se. (Not as many of us who go back that far these days.) I do think there is admiration for those who are willing to commit to religious life, and admiration for those who, in whatever state of life they've embraced, are genuinely good people. A life of prayer, service, fellowship and even freely embraced poverty, can make for some good people. It doesn't work for everyone; anyone who went to Catholic school has experienced being taught by sisters who were miserable.
Wasn't thinking of your parish in particular as rich GenXers, though guessing that your suburban parish does not have too many people wondering whether the food and gas holds out until the next pay day. Plus, a lot of poor people just can't make it to church or put anything in the collection plate. Raber can walk to church but will not go if he doesn't have something for his envelope.
DeleteIn my limited experience as a Catholic, it's the people who didn't grow up in the 1950s who want to go back there. The local priest who wears a cassock, biretta, got rid of the altar girls, rants about Protestants and Vatican II, loves those Chapel Cap Girls, etc etc is only 40.
My legal first name is John, as was my father's and grandfather's name. I was of course baptized in Latin as Joannes. The intention was always that I be called Jack. Often my relatives called me Jackie when I was young.
ReplyDeleteManaging my first name became very easy when Jack (John F.) Kenedy became president. I was Catholic and was baptized in Latin as was he.
There are some older women who have preferred to call me John probably because I am quiet, and somewhat shy at meeting people. They would probably really like my pictures as a Jesuit novice wearing a cassock. While I was never uncomfortable at the time, when I look at them now, I say that is not really me. Besides being kind and quiet I am also very intellectual. Some people find that interesting; some find it very disturbing. Essentially it is the intellectual Jack that is uncomfortable in a cassock.
When I was in high school the question arose as to which John was my patron. I definitely decided it was John the Evangelist and not John the Baptist. The Evangelist lived to a ripe old age saying "children love another;" the Baptist, of course was beheaded! Every once in a while, when the life around me becomes difficult and I am tempted to become the prophet denouncing sin, I remind myself (and God) that I am supposed to live to a ripe old age saying "children, love one another."
Dredging up a tidbit from my linguistics class of yore: Speakers and readers tend to "translate" what they hear or see into familiar patterns. Hence people talking about a "doggy dog world" or "hammy downs" or seeing/hearing "Therese" as the more familiar "Theresa."
ReplyDeleteMy cousin's wife from Mexico is Maria Teresa. Her nickname is "Mayte." Anglos are stymied by this and generally come out with something close to "mighty." She has gone to "Maria" rather than exhaust herself explaining.
Asian students in my class would routinely tell people to call them "Bill" or "Ken."
I tend to pronounce German and Polish names in their original form which sometimes confuses the owners who are n-th generation in this country. I actually have to make the effort to mispronounce the name in American. I know “Dabrowski” is really “Dąbrowski” which sounds like dawm-brawv-skee but, here we say, da-brow-skee. When I was in Poland with M, I had to mispronounce the city names so she would know to what I was referring. Thus Kraków became crah-cow instead of kra-koof. And unroll them r’s, too.
DeleteMy Dutch ancestors anglicized their first and last names after they got here. "Dirk Kok" became "Dick Cook." Easier to switch than fight the mispronunciation.
DeleteSome Italians in the Upper Peninsula also caved in to anglicization, hence my friend's Gramma Ciliberto became "Gilbert" and people would tell you without irony that "Gilbert" is an Italian name.