We found out a few weeks back that our pastor was being transferred, and we would be getting someone new. New to us, that is. We are still waiting to hear who he will be. It is a little past the time when pastoral assignments are normally announced, but the past year and a half have not been normal times. There are a lot of things to be taken into consideration, and we understand that. But there are always things people hope for (and hope against!). So I would like to discuss some of the things I hope for in a pastor.
For starters, I don't expect them to be Superman. Our present pastor is a good guy, and we will miss him. But all of them are human beings, with good qualities, and imperfect qualities. I would say that there are some things which come under the heading of wishes, and others that I consider necessities. The first necessity for me is that he not be an autocrat. Reasons for that are pretty obvious. But occasionally you encounter clergy who come across in a "my way or the highway" kind of way. It sends up a "warning flag" for me if a priest (particularly a younger one) insists on being called "Father Last-Name", rather than "Father John". Don't get me wrong, people deserve to be called what they want to be. But it is a reciprocal thing. For instance, I would expect Father Last-Name to call me Mrs. McGowan. Especially if I am old enough to be his mother. Children call their teachers "Mr., Mrs., or Ms.". and that is proper, because they are in authority over them. But adults relate to other differently. If an adult wishes others to call him Mr. or Fr. so-and-so, but calls them by their first names, it sends a message.
A second necessity is that they keep politics out of the pulpit. And I believe that is a policy by the archbishop. Mass should be a safe space, for everyone. Since our county is about 70% Republican, I expect there are a lot of Trump voters in the congregation. But the subject hasn't come up, we treat one another with courtesy.
A pastor should be someone who is approachable, whom people are able to talk to. and he should respect the traditions of the parish. For instance, our parish, since apparently forever, has said a little prayer of thanksgiving together after the final hymn, or after the blessing if we aren't singing. No priest yet has tried to end that, I think they like it that people don't try to run him over getting out the door as he is processing out.
A lot of people think being a good homilist is a necessity. For me it is more of a wish than a necessity. For sure it is nice to listen to a well reasoned and articulate homily. But other qualities, such as not being a jerk, take precedence. Most of our priests have not been jerks, thank the Lord. But a couple of decades ago there was one who nearly tore the parish apart. I think he was mistaken in his calling, and left the priesthood shortly after he left our parish. But he was a stellar homilist. And also an autocrat, and spent money like it was going out of style. So you can understand why homiletics are secondary in my book.
Another thing a pastor has to be is a good leader and communicator. What are the qualities that you like to see (or not see) in a pastor?
Well, agree that autocrats are a big problem in the RCC. Less of a problem in the EC because the pastor does not have total power - the decision making power is shared with the Vestry, elected by the congregation. Similar to parish councils, but with actual power and authority which RC parish councils don’t have.
ReplyDeleteIn the US, with our informal ways, the insistence on being called Father Lastname is indeed a warning sign of a clericalist attitude. As is wearing a cassock when not involved with mass or other official prayer event.
At our EC parish, both our priests ( one male, one female) went by first names only without using “Father” or “Mother”. Unfortunately some women priests, just a few, like to be addressed as Mother Name., The woman who was our assistant pastor definitely did not want us to call her Mother - only her son could call her that! Perhaps that’s why the pastor, the man, did not use Father. He has four children and several grandchildren. Or perhaps he was just being supportive of the assistant pastor, who was also chaplain for their school.,
Before Covid hit, the pastor retired. Linda was acting pastor for a while, but then accepted a pastor position at another church out of state now that her son is an adult. She would have been the perfect pastor, but the EC also has some dumb rules. One is that assistant or associate pastors cannot become the permanent pastor. With Covid interrupting the work of the search committee (EC parishes choose their own priests) the parish has had two - part-time priests as interim co-pastors. They go by their first names. Both are women - retired priests. I haven’t met them because everything has been Zoom. The Episcopal diocese of Washington DC has not yet allowed the parishes to open for in- person except if the weather permits it outdoors. That should be soon. The Washington National Cathedral has announced that it is preparing to reopen soon, but without a specific date. Once there is a new permanent pastor, and the church reopens, it will be interesting to see how formal or informal they are about titles.,
Anne, many thanks for this comment. Until now, I didn't realize that women priests utilized the title "Mother". I guess it makes sense! Just hadn't really heard/read it before.
DeleteI did the two early masses yesterday, and then hopped on a bicycle during the later morning hours to get a ride in while the sun was out. I rode past a Protestant church in our downtown area (think it is Presbyterian) and noticed that they were holding an outdoor service. Everyone brought their own folding, portable chairs - the same chairs we used to use for kids' soccer games and similar outdoor summery activities. It looked like it worked just fine. I contemplated stopping and taking video with my cellphone, but didn't.
DeleteSomething like that could work in our parish, but that would qualify as "outside the box" (literally, I guess!), and it's somewhat difficult to get people to take those ideas seriously. Having been suggesting cockamamie ideas for two decades or more, I can speak first-hand to this. At any rate, our mass attendance limits now are raised sufficiently that we probably can accommodate a typical pre-pandemic mass crowd without having to break through the artificial attendance ceiling. Now if only they will come back ...
Jim, if you ever meet a priest who is a woman, don’t assume that she wants to be called Mother. I have only met one who asked to be called Mother. Q She was our first interim and the congregation really didn’t like her after a while. She had a contract but the Vestry, in listening to the members of the congregation, chose to ask her to leave, promising to pay her full salary for the rest of the contract time. I don’t know - in the EC maybe women priests asking to be called Mother is a red flag of a form if female clericalism.
DeleteThe two interim co-pastors we have now write weekly emails and both sign them with just their first names. Our bishop is a woman ( Mariann Budde) and she goes by Bishop Mariann.
Our parish had two outdoor masses last fall, before the weather stopped cooperating. Everyone brought their own chairs ( usually foldable soccer game chairs), which they placed on the premarked tapes that provided the correct distance. Everyone wore masks. People could remain in their cars in the adjacent parking area if they wished. Everyone had to sign a pregathering pledge to follow the guidelines. I know of at least one RC parish around here that has had many outdoor masses when weather permitted. I don’t know if they have any kind of pledge to follow the mask rules.
I’ve mentioned before that I grew up in a small, mountain lake resort town. All of the summer masses were held in the outdoor grotto with a permanent, built in stone altar. The church was too small during summer tourist season. It was beautiful- I loved the outdoor masses with the forest surrounding, and banks of beautiful flowers all around. There is no rain there during the summer, never gets too hot, low humidity, and blue, blue skies every day. I hated it when we had to go back indoors for winter. It did get cold there and it did snow - 5200 feet above sea level.
When I think of someone called Mother (who isn't one) I usually think of the superior of a community of women religious.
DeleteThe NT name for the office we call priests was presbyter, literally senior, elder. The word for a person who offers sacrifice was completely different, e.g. the Latin word is sacerdos. Actually ‘priests’ is a corruption of ‘presbyter’ although English uses it for pagan priests who offer sacrifice.
DeleteI dislike titles. The only time I accept Dr. is when the alternative would be Mr. Dr. just has a better sound.
My suggestion for those who are presbyters. Let us call them Old Man and Old Woman! Of course in many cultures those would be very honorable words for the elderly.
"Pastor so-and-so", either first or last name, is the title used by a lot of Protestant clergy.
DeleteI have heard that. But I have never heard anyone call an Episcopal priest “Pastor So and So” when speaking with her/him. It would resolve the gender issue. I think saying Rev So and So would also, but apparently that’s incorrect form. You can refer to a priest as “ the Rev So and So” but you don’t address them by saying. “Hello, Rev So and So”. I have no idea why this is. Perhaps one of you clerical experts can explain it.
DeleteAnne, did you ever read "Evensong" by Gail Godwin? The protagonist was a woman Episcopal priest. Her congregation called her Pastor Margaret. Her husband was also an Episcopal priest. It was fiction, but an interesting read.
DeleteKatherine, I read it long ago. I might read it again now that I hang out with Episcopalians. If there is an assistant pastor I wonder if the assistant is also called pastor. Usually only one pastor. As I remember the story, it was set in North Carolina, in the hills. Maybe it’s a southern tradition?
DeleteP.s. One of the reasons we chose our EC parish was because of the amazingly good homilies - so much better than 95% of the homilies I heard during decades of being in RC pews. Both priests were outstanding homilists, and their differing styles and interpretations were a clarifying experience for mr. They basically provided true complementarity. There were a couple of times I wanted to stand up and cheer after one of Linda’s homilies especially. Or cry tears of joy - hearing scripture interpreted by a feminine mind, homilies expressing thoughts I had often had, but never heard from a male celibate parroting what he was taught in his all male seminary.
ReplyDeleteBut it was also obvious from a few times going to mass there that both priests were also warm, friendly, and definitely not autocratic.
Katherine - problem solved: a job description already exists.
ReplyDeletehttp://wordsofgrace.blogspot.com/2006/02/job-description-for-perfect-pastor.html
Jim, LOL! Yeah, it's not fair to expect Father Superman.
DeleteKatherine: When I think of someone called Mother (who isn't one) I usually think of the superior of a community of women religious.
ReplyDeleteLOL! So do I.
In fact, all the nuns in the order that taught at my college were called "Mother". They changed this to Sister a few years after Vatican II, when they also ditched their habits and took back their birth names if they so wished.
Francis description of pastoring applies to priests as well as bishops. Although occasionally they need to be ahead of their flock, most of the time they need to be in the midst of their flock, and sometimes they need to recognize that the flock knows better than them where to go.
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