... according to Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn. Zorn's list of the 40 best can be read here (I hope no paywalls stand between you and the column). Below the break is a short sample of the ones that appealed to me.
You never realize how many people you don't like until you try to name a baby. (@PickleRudd)
Goldilocks on Xanax: You know what? These are all fine. (@aotakeo)
When one door closes and another one opens, you are probably in prison. (@Lisaley)
I'm very tired of having a President who is every Wonka kid but Charlie (@JElvisWeinstein)
My dentist is a nice guy but he asks the dumbest questions. Um, yeah, I think I've heard of a toothbrush! (@JohnLyonTweets)
Dear Santa, You didn't get me the thesaurus I asked for and now I'm mad. You made me really mad. I'm mad at you. (@DrakeGatsby)
(1936) John Steinbeck: What'd you think of my draft of "Of Mouse and Man"? Publisher: It needs more characters. Steinbeck: I'll see what I can do. (@UncleDuke1969)
Fifty percent of Roger Federer's name is "er". (@DrGABaines)
Good ones, Jim! And so were the ones in the Tribune. I laughed over this one especially, "Me, struggling to make conversation on a first date: Tell me about a time you worked well as part of a team."
ReplyDeleteCan relate to the one about "you don't realize how many people you don't like until you try and name a baby." My parents were trying to name my youngest sister. And all the siblings chimed in. Me: "You can't name her Valerie! That was the name of the mean girl who picked on me in 8th grade." I reminded my sister later, "You owe me. I saved you from being named Valerie."
At some point I realized that our three oldest children have names which also are the names of characters from the television series "Full House", which we watched during those childbearing years. And we thought we were being thoughtful about picking biblical and saints' names. It's no wonder that for many years the most popular girl's name was Samantha.
DeleteMoms have been known to play the "I went through 9 months of pregnancy and x number of hours of labor" card to get their choice of names. That's basically how we didn't end up with a kid named Ryan.
DeleteKatherine, Lol! One of our sons is named Ryan. My husband’s family was big on ancestor worship, so it was sometimes hard to know which Christopher or Katherine was being referred to in a conversation - The ister, the cousin, or the aunt? The brother, the grandfather, the cousin? I wanted our sons to have their own names. My husband’s family name is short and abrupt - four letters. So we looked for names of two syllables that could bot be shortened easily into a nickname. Ryan fit the bill. This son was born shortly before a movie ( Love Story I think) that caused Ryan to hit the top ten boys’ names list for a few years. We didn’t know a single Ryan before we named our son. And since his surname is German, I liked the idea of honoring the Irish heritage on my side as well ( husband’s heritage is English and German and mine is Irish and German. I liked the Irish side of my family better than the German side, so...) But, in elementary school there were a lot of Ryan’s. One was a Jewish boy whose grandfather was a rabbi. The mom told me her dad practically had heart failure when they told him they had named their firstborn Ryan. Why not Samuel, or Eli or Abraham or some other traditional Jewish name! My (Irish) mother thought it a fine name.
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DeleteThe Boy's name was selected for Raber's favorite saint. It was an appropriate name for a kid who turned out to be a live wire born to older parents (and you can probably guess which saint it was from that description!).
DeleteI insisted on on a Welsh middle name (Gryffydd) because it would remind him of his heritage every time he had to explain how to pronounce it.
Blwyddyn Newydd Dda!
Nothing against Ryans, but I always liked the name James, so that's what our oldest was named. We were so sure the next one was going to be a girl that we didn't have a boy's name picked out. Surprise! We didn't get too far through the alphabet before we decided we both liked Anthony, aka Tony.
DeleteJean, since I know little about any saints other than the very most famous (St. Francis, the two Theresas, etc) I haven't a clue as to which saint was a live-wire born to older parents. And there are too many saints to research this!
DeleteBet he ate locusts and wild honey. And made an enemy out of Herodias.
DeleteYup. Doing his costume for Catholic school Halloween was fun! All I needed was a yard of fake fur, a belt, and he drew some grasshopper pictures to cut out and glue on one of those little plastic honey bear containers (empty!) that to hang around his neck.
DeleteKatherine, the trouble we had with many names was the fact that they are very often shortened. James becomes Jim, John and Jack are both short and abrupt, paired with a short abrupt last name didn't appeal. I liked Robert - but that becomes Bob, William becomes Will or Bill. Etc.
DeleteBut, you have now given me hints that even I can't miss - John the Baptist.
One of the Renaissance painters, I think it may have been da Vinci, did a picture with the child Jesus, and John the Baptist wearing a cute little camel hair outfit.
Delete"One thing no one ever tells you about being an adult is how much time you’ll debate yourself about keeping a cardboard box because it’s, like, a really good box."
ReplyDeleteGod, isn't that the truth? I gathered up all our cardboard boxes to burn in our New Year's Eve conflagration. On them, I have written everything I hate about 2020. I am looking forward to seeing it burn!
Best to all. Has anyone heard how Tom Blackburn is doing?
Sounds like a great idea. Unfortunately all of the Amazon boxes have already gone out in the recycling!
DeleteHappy 2021 to all. It can't possibly be as bad as 2020, right? At least Trump will be gone - he WILL - no matter what Josh Hawley tries. He figures he can impress Trump's base while knowing, as a leading Constitutional scholar and former clerk to Roberts, that the chances of it working are close to none. But he earns loyalty points for when he runs for the GOP nomination for President.