I had a dream last night which I have from time to time. It's not always the same, but the gist of it is: I've moved back into the dormitory I lived in as an undergraduate. In these dreams, apparently I'm not a husband and a father, but I've moved on in my life from college - I'm too old to be living in the dorms. It's like: I've already put in my time here; why am I back again? I spend a lot of time wandering the halls, trying to figure out which room is my room. Although this part didn't happen last night, there also is often an element in which I'm searching for my college classroom. I wander down to Lake Michigan (Loyola Chicago's Lakeshore Campus is on the lakefront, although the campus in my dreams is not exactly the real campus - more of a nightmarish composite of some neighborhoods in Chicago I lived in as a young adult).
When I was a younger adult, I used to have one or two variations of a somewhat different college-related dream: it is Finals Week at college, and I have come to realize I have an upcoming final in a class which, for some reason, I've forgotten to attend all semester. I spend a lot of time trying to find the classroom. I read a long time ago that Finals-related dreams are common among people who have gone to college. I believe the idea is: we dream about things that cause us stress, and for many of us, a college final is among the more stressful events in our lives (at least up to that point in our lives). It may be that the stress continues to haunt us for years after we've lived through that period of our lives.
That said: I'm not sure what the living-back-in-the-dorms dream is supposed to signify. Maybe it was more stressful for me than I realized to be living away from home for the first time. My father was so homesick when he went away to college that he left college and came back home after a semester.
Any idea what my dorm dream means? And do you have recurring dreams?
I used to have dreams like that, Jim, but they seem to have gone away. Maybe now that I’m retired, nothing is expected of me. All those things I needed schooling for are in the past.
ReplyDeleteI have a recurrent dream I call my "Goldilocks" dream. I find myself in someone else's house when they are gone, without permission, of course. Then they come home, and there I am. I have to quickly think up some lame excuse, which they usually buy. Something like, I have to use their land line because my phone is down. They say, "Okay, but next time ask first." Embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteI have lots of dreams where deceased family members show up. Like the one I had where I am at the dentist and my grandmother shows up, and says "You look a little peaky, dear, would you like me to drive you home?" I say yes, and get in the car. Then I wonder if she even has a valid license, and how old would she be if she were still alive? Oh, she's not alive, this definitely wasn't a good idea!
Timelines in dreams are very skewed, often I am not my actual age, The departed parents or grandparents are often there, and they aren't old or sick. Which is sad to wake up and find that they are still gone. One time I dreamed that I was picking mulberries with my mother in law, but we had to run for the fence because a bull was chasing us.
There are lots of anxiety dreams and messed up work dreams. And the ones where I am supposed to play an organ accompaniment at church and I don't have the right music.
Anxiety dreams are common to all. For those in our culture, those that deal with not having a required something for a class, or for work, seem the most common. I have no idea what the dorm dream might signify. I’ve never had one, but I also could hardly wait to go to college and get away from living at home.
DeleteI have weird dreams that I usually forget as soon as I wake up.i have had a few that involved being lost. They aren’t necessarily anxiety dreams, but they aren’t pleasant. I have never seen a dead relative or anyone that I’ve ever known who has died in any dream.
But yesterday, all day, I kept thinking about my sister- in- law who died last September. I wasn’t sure why I was thinking so much about her. At dinner I remembered that her birthday was in July - so I looked it up and it was yesterday. So was she haunting me or was my subconscious mind just reminding me that it was her birthday and I should call. Maybe my subconscious mind forgot that she’s gone.
Last fall I suddenly started thinking about a college friend, the friend who moved to DC with me. We kept in touch over the years, but weren’t super close. Last fall I was still not in great shape and I didn’t communicate with people - no calls, letters or emails. But I kept thinking about her, thinking something was wrong. I decided that maybe her husband’s cancer had taken a turn for the worse and sent an email just saying general things about hoping all was well. I found out shortly after from a mutual friend that her 42 year old daughter had died. My constant thoughts about my friend that finally pushed me into sending an email had started about the time her daughter had died. Not dreams - but I’m. It sure what to think about these two experiences.
not sure what to think
DeleteI have sometimes dreamed about family members dying, and most of the time I chalk it up to it being an anxiety dream. Except for the time the person actually did die.
DeleteI had an aunt who had ESP. No really, she did. She didn't want it, it was more of a burden to her.
I have never had a dream of anyone dying, or anyone who has died. I have had a strong experience of ESP, and I’m wondering if the episode with my friend’s daughter last fall was another one. It was as powerful as the one I had years ago. Not sure what to think about my experience a couple of days ago of thinking about my late sister in law all day, and then realizing that night that it was her birthday. Is ESP predicative of the future or only a heightened sensitivity to something happening to someone else you know that you may not even communicate with frequently? I’ve never had the experience of sensing something that will happen in the future.
DeleteI used to have nightmares about messing up my gradebook in the days when teachers kept paper records. Online gradebook that students could use to see their record thru the semester were a godsend.
ReplyDeleteI had nightmares for some years after my moml. They finally stopped when I kept an audio book running at my bedside at very low volume.
Come to think of it, I sometimes do get a recurring dream. I park my car in a city and I can't find it later. In real life, I can find my car with the Toyota app on my phone. There's a fee for connectivity but maybe the dreams make me think keeping it is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI was about to say that some people have been known to tie a ribbon on the antenna to be able to spot it in a parking lot. Then I remembered that cars don't have antennas anymore.
DeleteSometimes in a dream the car I'm searching for doesn't exist anymore, such as our old school car, the 1963 Dodge Polara.
Real life nightmare. Coming out if the Meijer store (huge parking lot) with a tired 4-year-old and groceries on a 95-degree day and completely blanked on where I parked the car. No beeper on the key fob in those days. Kid started bawling. Took him back in the store's foyer, told him if he shut his eyes tight, and thought about being in the car, it would help me remember. Gave me 10 seconds to mentally retrace my steps and remember where I parked.
DeleteI've had those kind of "memory blanks", pretty much my whole life. It actually just happened to me earlier this morning: I was on the phone with a client, and for the life of me couldn't remember which client it was. I looked at the invitation in Outlook, and it didn't list the name of the client, either. I finally figured it out by looking at the email domain of one of the attendees.
DeleteA week or two ago, our parish musician forgot what she was supposed to play. It was time to sing the Amen at the end of the Eucharistic Prayer. Her cue is the "Through him, with him, in him..." prayer (the doxology) - as soon at the priest says, "For ever and ever", she is supposed to start the intro to the Amen. She just sat there trying to remember what she was supposed to do. There was a flutist standing a few steps away, so she whispered to her, "Play something". Maddeningly, the flutist whispered back, "I don't come in on the intro." After what felt like an eternity (but was probably less than a minute), the music director recollected herself and started the music. I spoke with her afterward. She was a little shaken (just a little); nothing like that had happened to her before. I told her that, if that sort of thing started happening to her, maybe she could be a deacon :-).
I have rarely had memory lapses, tend to be afflicted with being on high-alert all the time in case something goes sideways. Which it always does.
DeleteI tend to be way too tuned in to kids and old people. It drives me batty when people--usually some clueless uncle--play some kind of keep-away or teasing game with small children and you can see the kids getting hysterical and you know in about 30 seconds it's all going to melt down and reduce the kids to a sobbing heap while the guy stands there gormlessly saying, "I didn't do nothin' to em!"
Also bugs me going to the doc's with elderly people, and you can see the doc mumbling, talking too fast, and the patient absorbing nothing. I used to repeat stuff back to the doc when I was with my mom: "So Mom is going to switch from Drug A and go to Drug B. And this is to reduce lethargy, right? How does that seem to you, Mom?" That gave her time to get the gist and get her thoughts together.
Dave has cognition/memory problems. He doesn't like me go to the doc with him. I make a list of things that he is fretting about and put it in his pocket with his blood pressure readings, but he still forgets to ask.
I just asked Google, "I dreamed I lived in the college dorm again, even though I haven't lived there in 40 years. What does the dream mean?" Here is the response of its AI engine, Search Labs:
ReplyDelete"Dreaming about returning to your college dorm after many years can symbolize a few things, most often related to stress, unresolved issues, or a desire to revisit past experiences and feelings. It could also reflect a search for new opportunities or a sense of nostalgia for a more carefree time.
"Here's a more detailed breakdown:
"Stress and Anxiety:
"College dorms are often associated with periods of high stress and major life transitions. The dream might be a manifestation of current anxieties or pressures in your waking life, even if they don't seem directly related to college.
"Unresolved Issues:
"The dream could highlight unresolved issues from your college days, perhaps related to relationships, academic performance, or personal growth.
"Nostalgia and Reflection:
"It could also be a positive sign, suggesting you're reflecting on a time of learning, exploration, and new beginnings. You might be yearning for those experiences or seeking to recapture a sense of freedom and potential.
"Fear of Failure:
"If the dream includes elements of forgetting classes, missing exams, or being unprepared, it could indicate anxieties about not meeting expectations or falling short in your current endeavors.
"Integration of Memories:
"Dreaming about old places, including your dorm, can be a way of integrating and processing past experiences and emotions.
"Current Life Influences:
"The dream might be triggered by something happening in your current life that reminds you of your college days or a similar situation from that time.
"Ultimately, the specific meaning of the dream is personal and depends on your individual experiences and feelings. Consider reflecting on your current life, your past, and how you felt in the dream to gain a deeper understanding of its message. "
None of those possibilities strike me as unlikely. I did enjoy college; it was stressful; I am anxious about not meeting expectations or falling short; and so on. Maybe it's a bit of all of the above.
DeleteWell, not sure that AI was very helpful. It doesn’t take much to come up with the range of possibilities on the list.
DeleteI think most dreams are symbolic/allegorical and idiosyncratic. Often they're too dense, random, or chaotic to unravel. I dream, but I don't remember them much unless I'm having a run of nightmares.
ReplyDeleteRaber knows he is dreaming and can "direct" them, "lucid dreaming" I think it's called.
The things we repress in life haunt us in dreams, I think. They're not signs and wonders of anything but unresolved fears and longings. If dreams keep recurring, they might be worth thinking about as some kind of message from your subconscious, something you need to deal with.
My mom and brother used to loooove telling their dreams and talk about what they meant. It made me wish I could just be waterboarded instead of listening to it.
… if dreams keep recurring, they might be worth thinking about as some kind of message from your subconscious, something you need to deal with…
DeleteI seldom remember dreams, but those I do remember are in the category of anxiety dreams. So I sometimes try to figure out what the sources of the anxiety are and, if possible, do something about the problem. Or figure out how to accept the “things I cannot change”.
I’ve I never heard of lucid dreaming. Interesting.
Do any of you have happy dreams? Mine are all anxiety dreams. At least the dreams I remember.
I am a procrastinator. I put off stuff that I dread having to deal with, mostly related to time consuming tasks like taxes or dealing with the bureaucracy somewhere to straighten out an issue or bill of some kind. Since the accident, I have spent countless hours on the phone and it’s a nightmare for me because of my hearing loss. Somewhere around 95% of customer service agents who answer phones have accents - I have a really hard time with accents, especially on the phone. But putting off the inevitable difficult task just adds to the anxiety. I never dream about these specific situations though - just the ubiquitous anxiety college dreams.
DeleteI read about lucid dreaming and thought it would be cool, so I was trying it at one time. And I got the intuition or thought in one of the dreams, I don't know what it was. Anyway it said to me that trying to do lucid dreaming was keeping me from deep sleep, and I needed the deep sleep more. Which I felt was true, I have always been a light sleeper. I don't have trouble going to sleep but I sometimes have trouble staying there.
DeleteJean, you read about saints a lot, did you ever read about the Seven Holy Sleepers? They are supposed to be the patrons of people who have trouble sleeping. But their story is pretty far-fetched.
Yes! Here's Aelfric's sermon in the 9/10th Century, which embroiders the story with lots of excitement and gore for an Anglo-Saxon audience.
Deletehttps://en.wikisource.org/wiki/%C3%86lfric%27s_Lives_of_Saints/Of_the_Seven_Sleepers
Lots has been made about the Sleepers' cave and cave imagery in Anglo-Saxon lit.
But what I think is interesting about Aelfric's story is that the Seven Sleepers pool all their goods in common and vow to live out their fate together, come what may. This one-for-all theme shows up again and again, from Beowulf to Bede to Aelfric. It's likely that this ideal of cooperation was a virtue among pagan Anglo-Saxons. And that passage in Acts about the early Christians holding everything in common and receiving according to their needs was a very popular idea. St Hilda based her 7th Century monastic rule on that passage.
In Aelfric's sermon, the one-for-all idea is what strengthens the Sleepers' faith. And the strength of their faith calls God's favor and leads to their miraculous resurrection--the miracle of which calls even more believers to the faith. And Aelfric is, of course, retelling the story to bring *his* people closer to God.
PS, the Sleepers do not have any dreams in Aelfric's retelling, but of course there is the Old English Dream of the Rood: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/159129/dream-of-the-rood-translation
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